So its been a while since I had my last post. It's not that I haven't had anything to say its just been extremely busy! I just finished the book I have been reading, A Million Miles in a Thousand Years. In this book Donald Miller talks a lot about our lives as a story, and asks what kind of story we are living. I want my story to mean something! I want there to be adventure, I don't want to fit into a mold, I want to stand out. The Lord has something so wonderful planned for me, all I need is to take a step in faith and seek his will as he reveals it to me step by step.
I've been learning a lot about myself and who I am in the Lord. I want what he wants for me, what he has planned for me. I want things so big that if he doesn't show up it won't happen. I want so much more than anything I could ever imagine for myself, I want what only the Lord can plan for me. I want him to be glorified in all parts of my life, I don't want to seek things for my glory but for the Lords. I want him to stretch me and show me who he is in ways that I've never seen before.
As I try to figure out the rest of my life it has been hard to let go of my ideas of what my life needs to look like. If you would have asked me when I was a freshman what my life would look like when I was about to graduate I would have said something along the lines of I would be in a serious relationship, have a job lined up, and I would be starting my adult life off. Come to find out that wasn't what the Lord had in mind for me. As I consider the World Race it has been becoming more and more scary, i don't why but I've been feeling a lot of pressure and unrest. It sounds great and I know it would be a huge experience. It would shake my world up and show me things I have never been exposed to. Its scary for me to think about being away for that amount of time. I am taking the steps that I need to take and I trust that if this is not what the Lord wants me to be doing then He will close the door and open other doors.
My parents are putting a lot of pressure on my to get a job. And I really want to get a job and get started with my career. Unfortunately, it is easier said than done, especially if I am going to be out of the country for a year. I have a couple options but they aren't the kind of jobs I will be able to only work at for a couple months. Right now I need a push in some direction. In Donald Millers book he says characters are reluctant to take the first step into a bigger story because they know its going to be hard. Well thats where I am. I know what I want I just don't know the first step I need to take to attain any of my goals. And I have the feeling that I am being passed by. What do I do? Why is this so hard?!
I do know that there is a plan for my life. And even though I may not be able to see it, it is there. The Lord has plans of good and plans to prosper me. I am leaning on that promise as I enter this stage of my life. Whatever he has for my I know is far better than anything I have planned for myself. I pray His peace over my life and I trust the He will guide my steps as I align myself with him.
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